This post is definitely a “my personal experience” post, but you might relate, so I’m going to go into it anyway because it’s on my mind. 

To give context I want to first say two things: 

1.- I write in a specific way where my characters do what they want and I just try and guide them into a plot they don’t want to be a part off. I don’t really decide things about them, I just rolls with it and choose how prevalent a character will be depending on what they roll with. 

I think everybody works like this but at the same time I say this out loud and feel crazy. This might be because I have a very active imagination that is both a gift and a curse. Psychology aside, I think it’s relevant. 

2.- I usually say I’m queer. Which is to say, I’m not straight. Up until a year or so ago I used to say bisexual, I still do. But since then I have had a couple of moments of, wait, pansexual, bisexual? I don’t know. And although I fully understand the use of labels can be helpful to some people, for me personally, it’s not something I feel like I need to understand. 

I’m happy to just be like, this person I find attractive, this person I don’t. I feel like queer is more than enough for me. 

So with these two things in mind. I tend to not label characters. Even if I’m 99% sure I understand their sexuality and am confident in the word, I’m always scared I’ll make a mistake. Or close of a door for that character. 

A quick example, the most obvious and glaring, my first book two of the side character’s are Emily and Elizabeth. A same sex couple, married. All cool. I have never refered to them as lesbians. Are they? Most likely. 

They both clearly are attracted to woman, I’ve written a lot of their backstory and neither of them have ever shown any sign of attraction to anything but a woman. But if I throw that word out, I’m forcing them into a box. 

Also, there are so many labels and perhaps there are labels I don’t know about that suit them better. I wouldn’t know. 

Would anything happen if I gave them that label? No. Almost certainly not. It’d be fine. But I don’t want to. 

Another thing is sometimes I think of characters in one way then realice later it’s not that. I had a character I was convinced was asexual because I couldn’t even begin to imagine him being attract to anybody else. 

Then I started writing his backstory and this other character began to flirt with him. I was like, “girl, you’re gonna be so disappointed!” 

Then they got together. In a polyamorous relationship. 

And I’m just standing and staring like, “I thought I understood you. Clearly I was mistaken.” 

Sometimes characters be like that. 

Plus, as an extra reason, in the fantasy world my book takes place in, I like to think homophobia and stuff doesn’t exist because it’s too depressing and personal for me to deal with. And I feel like one of the best ways to show this is a world where this problem never existed is by not even having names for the different kinds of attraction. Just like me the people in this world only know attraction and lack there of. Relationships are just relationships. Everything is simpler that way. 

I’m kind of scared of this post. I feel like someone will come at me like: “It isn’t representation if you don’t label it.” And, ignoring whether that’s right or wrong, who says I write my character’s in search of representation? I’m just having fun here. Let me and my characters do what we want. 

As usual,  check out my socials and book here.

I’m not really into romance, I mostly like book with romance as a subplot. But there are exemptions (Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets to the universe, for example). What’s your favourite fictional couple? Book recommendations are welcome! I think mine (although not queer) is Valek and Yelena from Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder.